We're Gonna Need More Than Duct Tape and Paper Clips
by CastielIsMyAngel13
Summary: Tag to S2 E4 Spoilers! When Mac's day went from bad to worse, to Cairo level of bad, he realized that somethings couldn't be fixed with duct tape, paper clips, and a Swiss army knife.
1. Chapter 1

Sitting in the transport vehicle, Mac took a deep breath as Jack began to drive away. The day had gone from ok to bad, to worse in a matter of minutes. He'd been jet lagged, kidnapped, drugged, and shot at, all within 12 hours. He needed a vacation from his vacation. One that had a sandy beach, and a lot of waves.

After clicking his seatbelt, and checking- he wore it when he wasn't being shot at, or improvising his way out of a situation. The drug from this morning had left his head pounding, and his joints sore, but there wasn't much he could do when Murdoc was lose on the streets. As they began to drive away, he got a weird feeling, one that said things were going to go bad real fast, but he didn't know why.

No one had any time to react. Jack saw something coming at them, and hit the brakes as hard as he could. The rpg hit the armored vehicle and it didn't hold up as it should've. It flipped over easily, like peeling the top off a can. All Mac remembered was looking at his seat belt, looking up and then the vehicle flipping. Next thing he heard, was Murdoc whistling and their suspect walking away with him. He couldn't move however, He was pinned down by parts of the car, and it didn't help that it was on fire. Cage was seemingly fine, when she came to, she managed to get herself out before slowly moving things to get Jack out. Jack had a metal pipe on his hip, and his legs were pinned by the other end of it. Despite how bad it looked, he didn't have any broken bones that made themselves known at the moment.

Mac however was a different story. There was a steel pipe on his chest, which was making it very hard to breathe. Then there was the fact that he lay on his wrist- it completely underneath him and more than likely broken. There was a pipe going across his ankles and his hips. He was definitely pinned, and couldn't get out without help. Once Jack was out, he was doing everything he could to lift the pipe that had mac pinned down across his chest. Between him and cage, they barely managed to move it. Cage lifted the pipe at Mac's ankle's and Jack went for the pipe at his feet. Working together, they lifted it up. Unfortunately for Mac, he had to quickly pull himself out. Once his ankles were clear, cage dropped it and ran to pull him out further. Once he was clear, Jack dropped the pipe he held and helped drag Mac far away from the vehicle just as it exploded further into flames.

Paramedics and first responders soon arrived on scene. Mac had tried to sit up, but Jack pushed him down and said, "Brotha, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Soon he had a neck brace on, and wasn't able to move because he was being strapped down to a board, and moved onto a gurney. Mac tried not to freak out as they loaded him into an ambulance- for the second time in one day. As they drove off, he had a panic attack. Being strapped down had reminded him of when Murdoc had him cuffed to the chair. He began to attempt to move. The paramedic gave him something, it had to be a relaxer because he felt his eyes droop, and sleep coming. He fought it hard, he didn't want to be drugged, it was freaking him out more. Now he was fighting more to stay awake and get free. Just as he got a hand free, he was at the hospital being rushed inside into a medical bay.

Jack showed up and was right there, "its okay, its okay. You're safe." he chanted to the younger man, trying to keep him calm. The doctor had hit him with a second sedative and knocked him out. He was then rushed into X-ray and the Cat Scans. It would take nearly an hour to do, but by the end of it, they had an idea of what they were working with, and it didn't look good at all. His left wrist was definitely broken. His Right ankle was broken, and the left one was bruised a lot, but alright. As for his chest, he had heavy bruising, and internal bleeding. On top of that, his back was injured. It seemed that his spinal cord had taken a lot of stress, and had swelled from him hitting his back. Only time would tell if it would go down a lot, or only a little.

The others had gotten out better. Cage only had a concussion and bruises and cuts, nothing too bad that warranted a hospital stay. Jack had bruising but no internal bleeding. His ankle was sprained pretty good, but with crutches for an extended period of time, he'd be okay. He too had a concussion but was doing better. Jack sat beside Mac's hospital bed, ready for him to wake up. The kid had gone through hell, surgery and had a long road ahead of him thanks to Murdoc. Jack could only hope that this wasn't the event to break Mac completely. But only time would be able to tell that.

 **A/n: my first MacGyver story! Here's chapter one! I watched the newest episode from S2 (episode 4) and thought about how hurt they all should be. Also, the car just crumbled completely and the fact that it looked like a tank pretty much didn't help it at all, and it tore open like a tuna can. Because of that, I felt that the should be tore up a bit more than they looked. Think about it, they were wearing seat belts that looked like race car seat belts- they should have still been strapped in and fighting to get out of it. I don't know, i'm not that much of a stickler for facts, but that seemed a little off to me. Oh well. I dont own anything, obvi. Also, currently falling asleep so if there's any spelling errors let me know so I can fix it.**


	2. Chapter 2

When Mac came to, he was disoriented and confused to where he was. All he felt was an IV in his arm, which led him to freak out. He began moving to pull it out, but his arm he went to move wouldn't cooperate. There was something blocking him from doing it. Opening his eyes slowly, he saw that he was in a hospital room. It all began to come back to him- France, being kidnapped, escaping, being shot at by a man claiming to be a 5th grade teacher, and then being blown up. Iraq wasn't this difficult, he groaned in his head. He always managed to disarm the bomb, or at least buy them enough time to get away. He had no warning for this, and it freaked him out.

He saw Jack sitting in a chair beside him, reading a magazine. "Oh good morning sleeping Beauty, how you feeling?"

"What the hell happened?"

"Murdoc hit us with an rpg, the transport flipped, and Murdoc walked away with the not teacher. You managed to take most of the injuries. Cage walked away with a concussion and some cuts and bruises. I got some bruises and cuts too, a concussion and a sprained ankle. You my friend, I know for certain that you have a broken ankle and wrist, had some internal bleeding that they fixed up, and we're waiting on the rest of the scans to see what's up with your insides."

"How long have I been out?"

"It happened at 4:07 pm, its now almost 7 in the morning the next day. They sedated you to keep you calm, as you wouldn't stop fighting them in the ambulance. I understand why you fought though brotha. Its been one hell of a 24 hours, and I don't blame you for being on edge. You're safe now. We're at the hospital in Phoenix, with our own doctors. They took you to the ER, got you stable and transferred you here." Jack explained, knowing that Mac needed context, and to know where he was.

"Right…" Mac said sleepily. The pain meds had made him sleepy, a sleep that he fought, much to the reminder of his earlier kidnapping. Jack had done everything he could to make sure that the drug they gave him would not have similar effects as the one he was drugged with, knowing that it would cause his partner to freak out further, and fight the treatment.

Mac fell back asleep, and Jack sat with him, by his side the entire time. Matty came in, and whispered to Jack that they had the results of all the tests and scans. Jack quietly got up and followed her out and down the hall to discuss the results.

"Mac's wrist and ankle will take time, but those will heal fine. His back is another story. Right now there is a lot of swelling, and if it doesn't go down, then he will most likely lose feeling to his lower body. As long as it goes down, and doesn't have any more problems, with Physical therapy he should be able to walk and move normally. As for being an agent, that will have to be decided on later. Obviously, we don't want to put him at risk for more injuries and ruin his chance of walking again if he is hurt in the field." Matty said gently, with a compassionate look in her eyes.

"Matty, he goes, I go. We're a team, partners. And no one, and I mean no one, would ever have my back like Mac does. I trust out team, but Mac is my brother, and I wont turn my back on him because of his injuries."

"I understand. I know how much of an asset he has been to the team, and to the agency. That's why the foundation will pay for everything, from hospital bills to therapy, to fixing his house up if he cannot move through it. Murdoc escaped, hurt our team, and I, will not stop until he's put behind bars, and thrown into the deepest hole we have and never let out, or until he's dead."

"He wont stop until he's dead Matty. Then, we go after everyone he's trying to bring together, and we bring down everything and everyone tied to him. I don't care if it takes me the rest of my life to get rid of him and his web of bull shit."

"I have already assigned and dispatched teams to go after him. I've contacted other agencies, such as the NCIS OSP here in LA. They're loaning us some agents until we can dispatch our agents. I got us the best of the best- Sam Hanna, G Callen, Kensi Blye, and Marty Deeks, as well as their overwatch team. I trust Hetty, she saved me in Belgium and once in Guatemala. They've also lent people from other task forces, including Steve Mcgarrett from Five O in Hawaii. He's a Navy seal, Sam Hanna was seal, and we also have assets in other countries, and regions working for us, looking for Murdoc. We have every single agency known to the US that is friendly working with us. He will not get away with this. There are orders to kill on sight if provoked."

Jack let the information sink in. Matty had gone and got everyone and anyone who owed them a favor, or were the best of the best. Most of them had military experience, or at least agents of some alphabet agency.

"We aren't going to let him get away with what he's done, and we're going to rain down hell on earth on him. There is no place he will be able to hide. I will find a way to have eyes and ears on every continent and every place he could ever think of to go." Matty assured Jack. He nodded, uncharacteristically quiet, before returning to Mac.

Mac slept for another few hours before waking up a bit more aware of his surroundings. His body hurt, but his lower body didn't, and it was odd. Looking for a clock, he saw that it was 11 in the morning, and Jack was asleep. The nurse came in a bit later and said hello, before checking his vitals. The more and more aware he was, as the pain medications from earlier had worn off. Unless he asked for more pain killers, he wouldn't get much more of it. A doctor came in not much later, Jack was still sleeping in the chair beside him.

"Hell Mr. Macgyver. I'm here to talk to you about your condition."

Mac nodded.

"As you've noticed, your left wrist is broken. You landed on your wrist in the accident, your body weight and the force of the vehicle flipping caused this. Luckily it was able to be set. Your Right ankle was broken, we had to reconstruct it a little bit, but it should heal normally. You have a few broken ribs. The pipe that landed on you broke a few ribs and caused some internal bleeding. We got that fixed up and you will be ok. As for your back. I'm sure you have noticed a weakness and no feeling in your lower body. Your spinal cord is bruised and swollen, and we will not know if it will go down a little or a lot. If it does not go down, then you run the chance of being paralyzed from a point on. We will not know until the swelling goes down."

Mac tried to not panic, but being paralyzed was a serious thing, especially being an agent for a government agency. He would have to retire, and live his life in hiding, because of the enemies he's made. The heart monitor gave up his false calmness, as his heart rate picked up. Jack woke up a little while later. Mac tried to remain calm and collected, but the moment he looked at Jack and made eye contact, he broke. Tears fell down like rain.

"Oh Mac." Jack said before pulling him gently into a hug.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." Mac sighed.

"Whatever comes our way, we face together, as partners, brothers, and friends." Jack reassured him.

 **A/:N Thank you all for the reviews! It means the world! I loved the ways i could go with this and this story line, and I have some ideas. If you have any, feel free to drop them in a review, I don't mind! I love talking plot and all things otherwise. Have you guys looked at behind the scenes stuff? The props trailer is literally my Disneyland and I would cry if I got to go in it. Also started work this week, so updates will be a bit slower, but they will come, I promise!**


	3. Chapter 3

The days following the accident were rough on Mac. He had a lot of trouble sleeping, and was constantly on edge. The doctors gave him some pills at night to help him sleep, but he'd wake up with terrible nightmares and would wake up screaming. Some nights he'd sweat so much that the nurse would have to change the bedding and his clothing. Jack remained by his side the entire time. His appetite was definitely a lot lower, and he was barely eating again. After Nikki's death, he'd thrown himself into working out and running. So much so he'd pass out in his room after running at minimum 8 miles. Some mornings he had to run 15 in order to clear his head.

Sitting in the hospital wing of the Phoenix foundation assured that he was safe- as it was now even more difficult to compromise after all the security changes. After a week, the swelling had gone down a marginal amount, but still not enough. Mac was still pretty much bed bound and using a catheter. At the moment his injury was described as an incomplete injury meaning that there is still some degree of feeling or movement below the level of the injury, and in Mac's case that would be his lower back. He was on medications like corticosteroids to help reduce swelling, and would undergo back surgery the next day. The hope was to relieve pressure and allow the swelling to go down more. The doctors themselves were hopeful that through physical therapy, Mac would overcome the situation. It was still too early however to know if he would ever walk again.

The hunt for Murdoc was going well. There had been some leads, and people dispatched to those. It was noted that Murdoc had gone to a Latin American country before they lost track of him, and later found him in eastern Europe. It was a wild goose chase, but the world wouldn't be safe until he was dealt with and taken care of.

Mac got more and more quiet as time went on. He retreated into himself, into his big head. Science was hard facts, he could follow it, and he knew the percentage rate of him walking again, and him living a normal life, it was very low. The odds were not in his favor what so ever, and it had him depressed, and anxious.

Riley worked closely with the NCIS OSP team, and got to know them very well. Nell and her became good friends. It was Nell that told Riley about Kensi having been in a bad helicopter crash and having an injury similar to Mac. Nell explained that Kensi had undergone months and months of physical therapy to get to a point to where she could walk, and she slowly worked and trained her self to be able to get back to work. She went from having a weak left hand, and not being able to hold her gun up, to being the best marksmen she'd always been. There were some small differences, such as her left side being more weak than before, but she trained so she was strong, and kept her determination up to be the best. Riley knew it was a touchy subject as it hadn't happened very long ago, but she knew that if anyone could relate to what Mac was currently feeling, it was Kensi. That's why she approached Deeks first. She'd always been better at talking to guys than girls. She offered the idea to Deeks and let him mention it to Kensi.

Kensi warmed up to the idea, especially after Riley got to know her, and explained Mac's character and who he was as a person. How he had stuck his neck out for her, and got her into the foundation, and how she later became an agent thanks to him and Jack. The two girls did become close friends, and that did help.

It was probably two weeks after Mac's back surgery that Kensi finally got in to see him. She'd been running round doing her cases for OSP, and running this one with Phoenix. She saw in him, what she'd seen in herself: fear, anxiety, lots of depression, and not knowing what was going to happen next, and if he would be the same agent he was before the accident.

Rather than talk about the accident directly, she talked about how she had been kidnapped by someone she had trusted, and how she got to the point of being able to return to being an agent. Then she talked to him about the percentage they had given her for her ability and probability of walking again. It had been low, very low, but here she was, doing her job as she had done it before.

Mac felt slightly better, and felt that he too could over come this, no matter how difficult. It gave him a push that he'd been lacking. His hospital stay was now nearing two months, and he finally had gained the desire to fight on, and prove himself. Jack saw the small changes, Mac was less angsty, less reserved, and more himself. It was going to take time, but he was getting through it. The nightmares still came, and left him waking up in the middle of the night, sweating and screaming. He got no more than 4 hours of sleep at a time, which was really wearing him down. Mac wasn't one to talk about his feelings, he was someone that shoved it away, and would deal with it another day- that day being off in the very far distance. Unfortunately, this was something he could no longer suppress. That's why the doctors (and Matty) suggested he talk to a therapist. He was hesitant at first, but slowly he came around to it.

He worked through how his dad leaving had hurt him, how NIkki's 'death' broke him down, but her betrayal was the ultimate breaking point. How Murdoc's kidnapping really effected him, and how he was coping with being paralyzed from the point of injury down.

As the swelling did go down, he did regain some feeling in his lower body. He could feel his legs and such, but was not able to walk or put weight on them. It was a static like feeling, he could feel when the nurse touched his leg, but he couldn't move it. It was frustrating to say the least, but therapy was helping him cope. Three months into his hospital stay, he was finally allowed to leave. Going home was going to be rough, but he knew it was time, no matter what obstacles face him.

 **A/N: I want to thank everyone who has reviewed: parisindy, raine2460, poxelda, guest, anyctophilian, newt-s3, Lhaven, Joesgirlfriendandpercyssister, and Effie17 for Reviewing on the first two chapters! It means the world to me! I love how much you guys are enjoying this story line! I definitely agree, that they all walked away with no injuries is so inaccurate!**


	4. Chapter 4

One thing Mac didn't anticipate was the worsening of the nightmares. Coming home was great and all, but he didn't think about how he would feel when he faced the house, and how he'd been kidnapped from his own home. He no longer felt safe, and didn't know what to do about that. Matty had installed more security measures, and safety mechanisms for him, as well as fit the house so it would be ready for him to come home to.

At of the end of his nearly 4 month hospital stay, he was taught how to get himself in and out of his wheelchair, how to bathe, and how to do daily actions he would need to do. It took time, but he got used to it.

The nightmares got worse, and soon he was barely ever sleeping, and if he was, it was short naps. Bozer fortunately, was at work a lot of the time, so he never saw the nightmares, or how Mac would wake up crying, and having panic attacks. Jack had to return to work, as he was a huge asset to the team and Matty needed him. It hurt Mac to see him called back to the job, but he knew it was important. Especially if they were going to find Murdoc.

Physical therapy left him exhausted, but his brain wouldn't slow down, and wouldn't stop. It kept going, and going, and he could never sleep. Eventually, it got to the point where he waited for everyone to go to work, before downing like 3 sleeping pills and passing out. It was the first time he slept without any disturbances, and it felt good. From that point on he'd been taking the sleeping pills. When he ran out far ahead of when he was supposed to, he used the other medications to balance it out and have the same effects. Soon he was taking Xanax to calm down and fall asleep. When nothing worked, he'd have a few beers, or some whiskey and try to sleep.

He was getting skinnier, and not gaining the weight back. A few weeks into his unhealthy habits, Jack caught him, and observed the kid. So rather than confront him and have it go south, he indirectly helped the kid. He began to bring food over more, and made sure he ate it, and made sure he was taking care of himself. Slowly but surely, he put on some of the weight he lost.

Six months post accident, and Mac was only beginning to be able to stand for a few seconds using the rails at the physical therapy place. It took many, many more weeks for him to take his first step. Kensi was right there to cheer him on, and encourage him. The trail on Murdoc had ran cold at this point. They could no longer use the resources they had allocated because it was costing too much money. So the hunt went to the back burner, and the team focused on other situations they needed to take care of. Riley went out in the field more, since Mac was gone because they couldn't be down a man.

Things for Mac were looking up to an extent. He could feel his legs, but he could barely walk, let alone stand. With all his friends at work, and being put on missions, he had no one at home. It got lonely, and he began to get even more depressed. He couldn't go for a run to clear his head, so he sat in the dark of his room, often just laying in bed or on the floor all day. Somehow he managed to hide his depression from his friends, though it was rather easy when they were put on missions back to back, and sent over seas frequently. On their days off, they'd spend it sleeping and relaxing, and then they'd come over very briefly, not like before. Jack was doing his best to be there for Mac, but he got handed assignment after assignment. They'd finish one mission and be sent to the next, no time to go home to California for awhile.

Jack was so busy that he didn't have extra tie to bring his friend food, or have a beer on a Sunday. The criminals of the world kept going, and causing problems. Mac lost weight again, and hadn't gone to physical therapy in weeks. He'd pretty much given up. The team had kept going and going, even Bozer. He'd been brought along as back up everywhere the team went. He was also becoming a better agent, and better at handling himself when needed.

Kensi came around after things slowed down for her. Again, bad guys didn't take days off, but they hadn't caught a case yet, so she was enjoying her Sunday in bed, at the Beach and in the sunshine. She'd texted Mac and hadn't got an answer, and she called him once. Something told her to check on him. So she and Deeks drove over, he stayed in the car, wanting to give the two their space, and see what was going on.

She knocked on the door and got no answer. So she picked the lock and called out for Mac, saying it was her. Walking through the house, all the lights were off, and it appeared that no one was home. There were no dishes in the sink, there was a thin layer of dust, and it smelt like the trash needed to be taken out- something had rotted. Going down the hall, she checked each room. When she got to what appeared to be Mac's room, she knocked gently. Opening the door, she found Mac laying on the floor.

"Go away." he mumbled.

"Mac? Why are you on the floor?"

"I fell."

"when?" She asked concerned.

"I don't know, what day is it?"

"It's Sunday…"

"oh. then Thursday I think?"

"Why didn't you call for help?" She asked as she kneeled down closer to him.

"Phone died, and everyone's on a mission currently. Besides, its pathetic if I cant get up and function like an adult, and not a needy child." Mac bit out.

"Mac, its alright to fall, ask for help, and its alright to struggle. I forced myself to recover too fast, I pushed myself and I hurt myself. It takes time, and I know its hard. Why don't I get you access to my unit and you come in and spend some time with us. You can hang out in ops and do overwatch. You can also go for rides with me when we tail a suspect. It wont be the same, but its still being in the field, just not directly in it. Hetty is a ninja, she can pull a lot of strings."

"I…its just hard. All my friends get to carry on with their lives, and I'm stuck confined to a chair, unable to walk, barely feel my legs, and can't be of use. Murdoc took away everything I had. He was planning to torture me the day he kidnapped me, but this, this is a slow torture. It wasn't even intended, he blew us up, and it happened when the car flipped. Between remembering being kidnapped, and the car accident, I cant sleep, It haunts me. I was walking around with not a care in the world, doing whatever I thought would get me out of a situation and save the day. I can't do that. I cant walk, I can't move, I'm not me, I'm a shell, an its rotting away. I'm tired, so tired of living. Tired of existing. Why did I have to live? At least then it'd been over, and done with. Mac said tiredly, not making eye contact in the dark room.

Kensi found the light switch and turned it on.

"I know its hard. I understand. Deeks, he stood by me the entire time, and I'm so lucky. He tried to propose to me, and I refused the first time. He kept trying to come up with ideas, but you know what ended up happening? Sam's wife was kidnapped, we spent hours looking for her. She was locked up in a container and ran out of air, minutes before we found her. She died and Deeks and I almost found her earlier that day. We walked right by where she was, but it was too late. Later on we found the man who took her. He was wearing a bomb, Sam killed him, but the car exploded. Sam got out fine, but the bomber died.

We stood in the ruble, and what was left of the mess of a case it had been. I took a flash bomb from someone, threw it in an explosion chamber, and proposed to him with the pin. Things don't go according to plan, and they fall apart, but at the end of the day, we move forward, through the pain, the grief, the struggles. We learn from them, we become better, but most importantly, we're together. It takes time, it takes falling and getting back up, but you will overcome this. Its going to take time, and I know that frustrates you, but it will be okay." She told him gently.

"I guess you have a point." He said softly.

"Now how about we get you up, some food and a shower, and you come out with me and Deeks tonight."

"Okay…"

"Do you need help getting up?"

"No…yes.."He responded

Kensi called for Deeks, who came in, no questions asked. Deeks had helped Kensi every time she fell, and was the best at helping get her off the ground. He picked Mac's wheelchair up, put it back right side up, and then helped Mac sit up slowly. From there, he had Mac grab his forearms, and Deeks helped pull him up. Deeks then helped get him into his wheelchair and situated.

"You good for taking a shower?" Kensi asked.

"I think so. I'll call if I need any help." Mac said with a bit of redness in his cheeks.

Kensi then left Mac to shower, and went to the kitchen where she and Deeks cleaned up. They talked softly as they went to take the trash out. "He's in a bad place. He fell on Thursday and remained like that since." Kensi explained.

"He's skinny, like we just rescued him from a torture camp after three months." Deeks grumbled.

"From what it sounds like, he wish he had died in the accident." Kensi whispered.

"I think we should have Nate talk to him, see where his head is at."

"That might be a good idea. I'm gonna ask Hetty if he can tag along on some stuff. Like sit in the car when we need someone on a stake out, or help up in ops or something. Something to get his mind off his condition, and that he can still do his job despite his set back." Kensi added before opening the door and going in.

Mac came out a little bit later, he'd taken a shower, shaved, and gotten dressed. He looked a lot better than when Kensi found him on the floor, but it was now in the light, that she could see the circles and bags under his eyes, and how red they were, and how thin he looked. She'd seen photos of him before, all around the house, and he looked nothing like that. His cheeks were sunken in, his shirt hung off him like it was three sizes to big, and his wrists were like chicken legs, bony and not much there.

"What do you wanna eat? I've been thinking about this place at the pier, they have the best burgers and hot dogs." Kensi asked.

"if that's what you want, I don't really care."

"You'll love it, I promise." She smiled.

Together they went out to Kensi's car. Deeks opened the car door for Mac, and held out his hand, as Mac Stood up on his own. He leaned heavily against the door, but he was determined to get in without help. So he grabbed the "oh shit" handle that was on the inside of the roof, and with one arm, pulled himself up, and with the other arm, helped slide himself in. It took a bit long, but Deeks was fine waiting. Mac tried to pull his legs in, but his upper body was beyond tired. Deeks gently placed Mac's feet in, and closed the door when he was ready. Putting the folded up wheel chair in the back of the Audi SUV, he then got in the driver's seat and drove them- he didn't want Kensi's driving to freak Mac out.

Mac did struggle a lit bit about being in a car, but he was doing ok for the most part. When they got there, Deeks got the wheelchair out and let Mac try to get up and out of the car on his own. He did struggle a lot more, so Deeks held out his hand for Mac to grab when he needed it, and let the younger man do it on his own, without intervening unless asked. Mac was grateful. He rolled himself a long, trying to keep up. The two NCIS agents walked slower than they normally did, but not noticeably slow. Mac's arms were exhausted from all the wheeling, and the pier was a bit crowded, so Deeks pushed him around until they got to where they were going.

With their food in hand, they sat along the edge of the pier and watched the waves as the sun set. It was a beautiful view. For the first time in a long time, he felt happy.

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading! I'm still super excited for this story! I like where its going, let me know if you do!**


	5. Chapter 5

Kensi came true on her word, because come Monday morning, she had already asked Hetty, and by afternoon, she'd gotten what she wanted. Technically, Mac was still on sick pay, because Matty didn't want to lose him, even if he was not able to come back. Hetty pulled him in as a consultant, and got him clearance to all their active and open cases, as well as cold ones. While he wasn't a detective, he was a skilled operative, and knew a lot about explosives, and other things.

So By Monday evening, she and Deeks were taking Mac out for dinner to celebrate. They took him to a nice restaurant that served amazing Italian food. Mac didn't eat much, but he did enjoy the food. Matty had heard from Hetty about what Hetty was doing. She was a bit disappointed, but understood. Especially since how busy her team currently was. So with some allocated resources, she checked into how Mac was doing. She'd seen that he had barely been using his phone, TV or anything, and not going to physical therapy appointments. Then there was the fact that there was no activity on any of his bank cards, and it appeared that he hadn't been buying food as of a few weeks ago. So when she got a picture of him, she was shocked. Never had she expected Mac to fall apart like that. She hid the information, knowing it would break Jack, knowing he wasn't there for his friend. She let the paperwork happen, and sent him anything he would need. She went as far as backstopping a few aliases that he could potentially need.

Tuesday Mac officially started at NCIS. Kensi headed in early, so Deeks picked him up. they got to know each other. Mac learned that Deeks had an abusive father, shot him when he was 11, and spent some time in foster care and on the streets. But he eventually became a public defender, and then a cop. The older man was very kind, and loved the ocean a lot. He fit the beach boy stereotype very well, but was also as loyal as a golden retriever.

Mac later met G Callen, who was just as mysterious as he was explained to be. Sam Hanna who reminded Mac a lot of Steve Mcgarrett and of Jack. Hetty was a small woman, but she was fierce, and always knew what was going on. Eric Beale was a nerdier and more awkward version of Riley mixed with Bozer, and Nell was a mini Riley minus the criminal record. Overall he liked their team, he just didn't know where he fit in.

The coming days were trying, as most of it was just cold cases that needed to be closed, but it was fun for Mac. He'd never really been on this side of the law before. Usually he worked in the gray area, and was doing what the law couldn't do. Working within the lines was different, but a good different. It made him a better agent, and thinker. With his help, the team managed to close three cold cases in a week alone. Hetty loved having him around, as he was doing wonders there.

Jack and his team returned from a very long mission. He'd gone home to find Mac there, but Mac wasn't there. Mac was out in the field, on a stakeout with Callen. They were parked on a busy street with an outdoor mall looking for a suspect. When Mac saw him, he said it over the coms. Sam and Deeks were the closest and chased the suspect down. Within a few hours, they had a confession and a new lead to check into. Jack was worried and called Mac a few times. Mac ended up calling him back a few hours later.

"hey."

"Where are you?" Jack asked.

"NCIS, I'm running a few cases with them."

"Are you back?"

"No, but I'm learning how to do my job with what I can do." Mac said with a long sigh.

"You know that your place is always on my team, our team. You belong with us, but hey, if you need to take some time, so be it, I'll always be here for you." Jack assured him.

"I know…."

"Its hard Mac, Knowing you need me there, and I can't be there, because bad guys don't stop, and I keep getting called away. I promise you, I'm gonna make it home, and we're gonna sit out side and watch the sunset and have a few beers."

"Sounds good."

"And Mac?"

"yeah?"

"I'm gonna get that son of a bitch, and make him pay."

"I know you will Jack."

"I gotta go brotha, I'm being summoned by dear old Matty. Call me anytime, you know I'm here for you." Jack reminded him.

Mac hummed and hung up. He sighed and looked at his hands. He'd gotten of of "work" if he could even call it that, a few hours ago. Now he sat on the couch- an upgrade from sitting in his room, watching an old movie. He'd been productive today, he'd sat in a restaurant watching for a suspect, and got to eat and just sit there. Once the suspect was spotted, Sam and Callen took care of things, and he got to continue on eating. No one ever suspects the person in the wheelchair, and that's how they managed to be pulling apart different operations and finding people who were suspects. He was enjoying this, it gave him something to do, and something to be apart of, and make a difference.

On one of their afternoons where they got to leave work early, Deeks took him to the homeless shelter to volunteer. It was an interesting afternoon. It made Mac realize that he had a lot still, he couldn't walk, but he did have a house and a job and the resources he needed. He saw how Deeks seemed to know everyone there, especially the kids. By the end of the evening, Mac was looking forward to coming back sometime. The kids loved the basic science lessons he gave out, they ate it up like candy on Halloween. It made him sad that these kids lacked a formal education because the system was flawed. He questioned some of the things he did, what if they helped kids out, those who were at risk, rather than wait for them to turn into bad apples, and be thrown in jail or caught in the cross hairs of a gun fight.

Deeks and Mac became close friends, and the two men, often volunteered. Kensi came with some days, but it was something Mac and Deeks did together. They made it a goal to go weekly, and if they missed one week, they went multiple times a week when they could. Between the two of them, they got a lot of kids interested in Science, Law and Math. Over the course of three months, more kids began to go to school, and do better.

The two agents went to Hetty and asked if there was a way to set up resources for these kids, and help the community. Of course Hetty knew the right people, and slowly they set up a fund so that tutors (paid and unpaid) would help out at the shelters and tutor kids. What they did, was pay college students trying to pay off federal loans, and the more that they did for the community, the more forgiven there loans were. It was a great idea, and it began to work. Soon more kids were interested in school. It was hard because kids came and went, but they at least were given a chance to show their potential. Hetty being the Ninja she was, had set up methods to keep track of all the kids.

Mac was excited to be apart of something, and be making a physical difference in people's lives. Of course what he had done before saved lives, but this showed a physical difference. He saw the smiles on their faces as they were excited to learn, and show him the grades they got on their homework. Obviously when he was there he didn't go by Mac- there were too many people in the world who hated him, so he went by Travis Till. It was an odd name, but so was his real name. Hetty had it back stopped, and no one really cared who he really was. Spending so much time in the community helped him fight the fight he had been losing. His mind was constantly at war, and teaching science to kids was helping him beat that fight inside him.

 **A/N: Here's the next chapter! As always, thank you so much for the favorites, follows and reviews! it means the world!**


	6. Chapter 6

It was now One year post accident. In that year, Mac had gone from being okay, to losing it all in a matter of minutes. He'd spent the last 12 months finding himself again, and it'd been a long process. At the start, he was very depressed. He'd turned to harming himself to feel something again. It was around that time he was on the verge of suicide. Because of what happened, he felt that he was a burden, and not the man he was, nor could he ever be the man he was ever again. But the last year had progressed and showed him over time that he could be.

Several months into his rehabilitation, he'd given up. The most he could do was stand holding onto something, and manage to get himself in and out of his chair. He'd lost hope of ever walking again, and gave up. That fateful afternoon Kensi had found him on the floor chained everything. You see, he had no intention of calling for help. If anything, he was going to find whatever was in arms reach and take his own life, because of how low he felt, and how frustrated he was. But Kensi walked in there, helped him up, had him take a shower, and took him to the pier for dinner. That moment changed everything. He began to "consult" for NCIS, and do small things for them, never getting in the cross hairs.

The project in the community also gave him a sense of purpose. He'd helped so many kids learn, and get good grades, and want to do well in school. The rate around the shelters of kids graduating and going places was increasing in the last 6 months or so. The high schoolers learned, did better on tests and in classes, and some of them managed to get scholarships, and several others got full rides, thanks to an anonymous donor by the name of H.L. The kids were pulled out of the streets- the once who wanted out and away, because you can't help someone who doesn't want help, and given a chance, a fair chance. Mac felt that they were truly creating an impact on their community- several kids had managed to get jobs, and thanks again to an H.L, there was a huge apartment building that offered low income housing to those kids. They were gotten off the street, and given a chance.

Obviously with such a large pool of kids, Hetty did pick a few that would be given a chance to precede with Law, and potentially be brought into NCIS or another agency- they just didn't know it yet. With Hetty as the ultimate puppet master, many kids, young and older, were given a chance to succeed and beat the odds.

Speaking of odds, Mac too was beating them. Deeks and Kensi often accompanied him to physical therapy. It was on that one year anniversary that he was able to take a few steps with the help of a cane. It wasn't much, but it was a lot further than anyone thought he would get. Mac was proud of himself. Still, he relied a lot on his wheelchair because he got tired often, but he was able to slowly walk through the house with his crutches, and through ops. Everyone was really proud of him.

What was very hard on Mac was the fact that Jack, Bozer, Riley and Cage had been very busy for the last year. They'd been sent on a mission that had lasted 6 months. They'd had to infiltrate and gain information. Slowly but surely they had made their way to finding Murdoc, and dismantling his web for once and for all. Mac understood this, and was often lonely, but being around the NCIS team kept away his worries. His biggest worry was that he would never be able to return to the Phoenix Foundation because he wouldn't be of use to them. That's part of the reason that working with NCIS was so important to him- he felt that he still had worth and value as a team member. Hetty had pulled more strings and had him as an agent- with a badge and everything. Obviously when the time came, he'd return to Phoenix, but that time had not came yet, and he was still on paid leave from them. Matty was fine with what was going on- Hetty had talked to her over a bottle of whiskey about their young man. Matty learned that he had not been handling things well, and his isolation had nearly pushed him over the edge of sanity. NCIS had been a resource to keep him busy, and away from Murdoc's web of danger. Matty made it a goal to visit Mac and bring updates about his team when she could. She had seen the change in him as well. Before the accident he was full of life, and ready to do anything. Afterwards, he was much more reserved, cautious and less of the Mac they knew and loved. In the last year, she had seen him go from Mac they knew, to an isolated and depressed young man, to a man that was facing his problems, and doing work for the community. He had grown a lot, and was much more wise, and much more understanding and patient.

Over time, Mac grew close with the other teammates as well. Sam was coming around after Michelle's death, but he and Mac could relate in a sense. They'd both lost women they loved. While Mac's turned out to be alive and a traitor to their country, he knew what it was like to watch her die in front of him, and fall into the river, at least when he still loved her. Callen knew what it was like to want more answers about his family. Callen had searched for his mother and father nearly his whole life. Mac's father walked out on him when he was nearly 13, and left without a word. He'd struggle with emotions and internalizing them for nearly the last decade and a half. Through therapy and physical therapy, Mac learned and realized that his father leaving him wasn't his fault. His father made that decision and he couldn't change that. Deeks knew what it was like to be underestimated, and under appreciated. The LAPD hadn't been good to him at all, and treated him like crap despite the fact he was excellent at undercover work. Kensi however, knew and could relate to him the best. She too understood the frustrations, and the anger, and depression. Through his stay there at NCIS, Mac learned a lot about himself, but also a lot on life after a major trauma.

This reflection came to him as he sat on a flight from LA to Hawaii to meet once again with the 5-O team for a case. Sam and Deeks came with him for the case- as they were technically the agents on the case. Mac sat in first class where as the others sat in business and economy. He was still dependent on his wheelchair, but he was doing much better.

He could walk using a cane or two crutches, but he looked a lot like a baby deer because of how unsteady he still was at times. However, he was able to walk through ops pretty good without them, though the distance wasn't very far at all. Slowly he'd been able to walk very short distances without them, like from his bed to the bathroom and back. With the crutches, he could walk about a mile before being very exhausted. For this mission, it was best he stick with his wheelchair, because it was going to be a long case. Fortunately for him, Sam and Kensi had good contacts, and were able to help train Mac on how to fight and defend himself when needed. Mac was heavily against using a gun, but he had warmed up to it, because of his physical limitations, and how if needed, it could potentially save a civilian or a team member's life. It wasn't his go to solution, but he had it as an option, which was definitely a different Mac from a year ago, who was anti gun at all times. Jack shot people, he punched them, or blew them up using baking soda and vinegar.

At the plane touched down in Hawaii, Mac was looking forward to this case. Not only were they going to Hawaii, there was a chance that he'd see Jack and the others as they stopped there briefly before flying back to LA. They'd spent a lot of time in Eastern Europe, and would be headed home soon. The sun was setting just as they landed at the airport. Mac used a cab to a hotel where he'd be for a day or two, enjoying his "time off" as Mr. Jonathan Jacoby, a web developer from LA, on vacation before heading to a web convention. He was ex army, blown up on one of his tours in Iraq (or at least that's the cover story). Sam was a Mr. Derek Woods, a business man from LA, visiting some friends and pitching a new product at a convention. Deeks was David Rowling, also from LA, but not there for the convention. He was an actor working the rounds, and was sent to a casting call in Hawaii by his manager.

Right after he'd got settled in into his room, he'd headed down to the restaurant to have a very late dinner. Just as he had sat down, someone fell from a balcony and into the pool. People screamed, and HPD was called. Mac had to sit there and not investigate like someone with a badge. Instead, he noted anything out of place and continued to sit where he was at. Thanks to his glasses (on loan from Phoenix), OSP in LA was able to take pictures of everyone poolside and identify them. From that alone, they were able to identify three people who had skipped bail, and had warrants on their heads. A little bird tipped of a certain bounty hunter and those three had been caught and brought back to jail to be dealt with and interviewed.

Mac was interviewed as a witness by HPD, and then again by 5 O. Steve had treated him like any other witness, and gave him his card. That would be his in to be able to go in tomorrow and talk to them in the Palace (which was there headquarters). Heading back to his room, he checked for bugs, and any other thing he'd need to look for before opening a secure line to OSP. Sam and Deeks had been at a different hotel and had reported in earlier. Mac debriefed with them before heading to bed. It had been a very long day, and the jet lag was going to be terrible to deal with in the morning.

 **A/N: Look at that! this one came pretty fast, and was a good amount longer! How awesome! I love how into this story you all are! I'm trying to dive deeper into how Mac feels, and what is going on with his team, and why they have been distant and gone for so long. I'm hoping to address those in later chapters (like chapter 8 or so, I've written all the way to there).**

 **I wanted to cross over all three shows before I slowly phase it all out. So 5 O will be here for a very short time, before we get back on with our beloved MacGyver team!**


	7. Chapter 7

Mac had gone in the next morning under the premise that he remembered something else from the murder. Really what he was doing was sitting at his spot at the table, and getting involved in the investigation. It was apparent that it was connected to the bigger case they were working. The victim's name was Amelia Burke, a front end web developer from southern California. She'd been working for the government previously (which gave NCIS jurisdiction), and was suspected of selling secrets. Mac was supposed to get close to her and find out who her buyer was, but that was a bust considering she was now dead.

The plan had changed. Mac would go to the convention and blend in, and look for potential buyers. It was easier said then done. Mac was not the best with web design, but with Eric and Nell in his ear, they talked him through the potential conversations, and prepared him. They were also on the comms and listening in, ready to feed him an answer. If he needed help with a question, he would adjust his glasses with his left hand, and pause as if he was thinking, while Nell and Eric fed him the answer. It worked moderately well, and everyone thought he was the real deal. When he answered that he worked for a think tank, it raised a few eye brows, and ones that were the ones he was after. He'd given out his fake business cards, that had an actual Linked In account- that was pretty much real except for the fact that it wasn't. It looked 100% legit, and that was thanks to Matty and Hetty.

Not very many people asked him personal questions. It wasn't until they were at a mixer that someone (out of like 150 people he'd talked to) asked about his disability. For the sake of his cover, he mentioned that he was ex army, had been in a Humvee that was blown up, and he lost the ability to walk. He had some sensation in his legs, but not enough to ever walk again. It was a partial truth and partial lie. See, it was truth that he could feel his legs. You never know when someone could potentially try and see that you're lying. People have done messed up things before. All it takes is a hot coffee 'accidentally' dropped to blow your cover. So by saying he could feel his legs for the most part, it wasn't a lie. The lie was that he couldn't walk. Or well it was a half lie. Technically he could walk short distances, and with crutches and canes, but for the sake of his cover, he couldn't walk at all.

Mac found that questions about the accident had made him uncomfortable and more reserved. It was still a touchy subject for him. However, the person who kept asking personal questions, like that one, and others like if he had a girlfriend, or a lot of family, or a dog, that showed to get more and more creepy. Thankfully both 5 O and OSP were listening and watching. When that conversation finally ended, Mac found Deeks and pretended to meet him for the first time. The two pretended to hit it off really well, and exchanged business cards. Mac had tried to not interact with people, but people had seen him as a helpless person who needed constant help and what not. While he knew they intended well, it was uncomfortable and he had asked multiple times for people not to move him or touch him in anyway. To counter anyone trying to move him against his wishes, he had put the brakes on his wheelchair and wouldn't budge. When he met with Deeks finally, the two wandered out to "go have a beer", since they hit it off really well.

It was refreshing to talk to someone he knew, and trusted. The topics would all be based on the web convention since they never knew who was listening, but they talked about small things, like flying out there, the hotel rooms, the food, people they had met earlier. They stayed out there for probably 30 minutes before returning to the mixer. Sometimes you just need a breather from so many people. Mac pretended and faked his way through the whole event. Apparently he was such a hit that a lot of people had added him on linked in. For one thing, it did help with the cover, and setting it up to look and be more real. Nell and Eric had done everything they could think of to make it real. This one alias had been sitting and growing over time. Hetty would have them add things to make it more real. It was a mix of the two of them, and a mix of some of the others, like Sam and Callen.

It must have been convincing because the lead suspect they had, had taken an interest in Mac. Soon the two were at the hotel bar having a beer and discussing business. Within 24 hours, they had cracked the case wide open. Once Steve and his team had gathered the evidence needed, they swept in and arrested everyone involved. It had turned out to be a 15 person operation. It was set up under a false company, a web company. The employees were secretly buying and selling government information to different sources and groups. Not only did they have enough information to take down those 15 people, they had information to take down the groups that were buying and selling information, effectively taking down the web. Teams were sent out in New Orleans and DC, as well as San Francisco and LA to gather up and arrest those involved. Soon the web was connected to over 200 people across the country, and the world. Matty had sent in another team to collect the rest of anyone they could get before it all went underground. There was a total of 230 people arrested, and 12 who were killed trying to kill law enforcement.

At the end of the case, everyone went to Steve's where they had a beer on the Lani, and enjoyed the waves and the barbecue. They were introduced to Kamekona's Shrimp truck empire, and lots of good local food. Deeks caught a few good surfs with Kono, and Sam had a good time recollecting and getting a steak that Mcgarett owed him. Hawaii had been good to them, and they spent two days off before flying back to LA. Just as Mac was headed to the airport, he got a flight change, and was riding on the private jet with his old team. He was looking forward to seeing them, he'd missed his friends, and it was time that they all came home.

 **A/n: We're almost caught up to what I've written out to! I'm excited!**


	8. Chapter 8

Mac wasn't sure what he expected when he saw his friends again, but what he got was definitely not it. Riley was passed out and looking like Hell. Bozer was also knocked out, but had fallen asleep to a movie, and Jack was in his head, starring out the window, not noticing Mac. As the wheels lifted off, Mac waited for Jack to notice him, but it was to no avail. So instead of being disappointed, he fell asleep with his head against the window, and a paperclip in hand.

Riley woke up halfway through the flight and saw Mac onboard. She wasn't sure how he got there, but was glad to see him for the first time in nearly a year. She herself looked different, a year on the mission had caused her to lose some weight, and add wrinkles to her nearly flawless skin. Stress was definitely not her friend, but the mission was finally over, and everything almost back to normal. There were some things that had to be dealt with, but it was close to being all the way over.

Bozer woke up next, he was hungry and had to pee. When he saw his best friend, he was so excited, he almost woke him up. Riley told him to chill and to let Mac wake up. The last time they had seen him, he was just out of the hospital and just starting rehabilitation. Riley had came up to Jack and gently brought him out of his head. The last year had brought some horrific things, and it was all catching up to him. Once he talked with Riley, he made the executive decision to wake Mac up.

Slowly but surely Mac woke up dazed and confused to where he was, before he remembered he was on a plane. When he looked at Jack, he smiled and tackled his friend who sat beside him into a huge hug.

" I missed you." Mac said into his neck.

"I missed you too brotha. It's been too long, far too long."

"How was the mission?"

"Rough, but that's the job. Now tell me, what you're doing on a plane from Hawaii to LA."

"Well, I was doing some side work for NCIS. I have a badge and everything, its pretty cool. The team I worked on had a case that took us out here to work a joint task force with 5 O. There was someone buying and selling secrets. Turns out its a whole web, and at the end of it all, there were like 230 people arrested, and a lot of lives saved due to the information being caught. It was dealing with things like aliases, missions, etc."

"That sounds pretty cool my man."

"It was, but its not the same. I missed working with you guys, and I missed Phoenix. I did a lot of good stuff for NCIS, but its not my home."

"What made you go there?" Riley asked as she sat down closer.

"Well, I was in a bad place, a really bad place. Kensi came to me and gave me the offer. She herself had been in a helicopter crash in the middle east three years ago. After the accident, she couldn't walk or use the left side of her body very well. Through lots of rehab, she had been able to come back as an agent. I didn't think I ever would make it as far as I have. I never thought I'd be able to feel my legs, or walk again, but here I am, doing it. It's not without set backs, or obstacles, but I am doing better than I was at the start."

"That's good, I'm so sorry we couldn't be there." Riley said softly.

"I understand why you couldn't be. The world needed you just a bit more than I needed you, and that's okay. It comes with the job. I…I wont lie, there were days where I would give anything to have one of you around, and it be just like old times, but it didn't happen. I…I isolated myself, and let myself fall apart and break down…It was pretty bad."

"We'll we're here now, and we aren't going anywhere." Jack assured him

"Its hard to talk about, but I need to."

"What is it?" Bozer asked.

"I…six or seven months into everything, I tried to kill myself. I'd been unsuccessful, and had no intentions for asking, or calling for help. Kensi had came by, this was before we got closer, and was concerned. She'd found me on the floor of my room, where I'd been for four days, unable to move. Her husband Deeks, he helped me get up, I took a shower and they took me to dinner. I think that night was what saved me. Because after that, I got the opportunity at NCIS, and got closer with that team. Deeks and I began to volunteer and give back to the community. We actually set up a college fund, and tutoring system for those at risk kids, and help them get into college. Its awesome to see how many kids we were able to help. Our goal was to reduce the number of kids on the streets, and help them all get a good education, and somewhere to go, and resources to help them succeed. Hetty has been sending me updates. So far, our first batch of college bound kids are doing well in school, and making Dean's list so far." Mac explained slowly.

"How?" Riley asked after a moment of processing what Mac had said.

"I had tried to overdose on pills, but somehow got it wrong, one of the bottles was mislabeled. I woke up with a major headache, but I woke up."

"Why?" Bozer had asked, after getting his bearings. Mac was someone he never thought could do something like that.

"I…I felt helpless, and hopeless, and like I was a burden to you guys. I couldn't do things I needed to survive. I couldn't feel my legs, walk, be me. And I had no one at the time. You guys were out on a mission, I couldn't bother you. I'd rather I be miserable then take you away from your task at hand, and have you get hurt." Mac rationalized.

"Mac, I can't….I…" Jack choked up.

Jack got up and walked away. His emotions were too strong, and he couldn't process what Mac was saying. Bozer sat where Jack had sat, and rubbed his best friend's back.

"Don't worry Mac, Everything is going to be okay." He tried to comfort his friend.

"I hope it will be, but I know its unrealistic." Mac sighed. It hurt to watch Jack struggle to say something, and then walk away. He knew his friends needed time to process what he said, but he needed them too.

As the plane landed, Mac was looking forward to going home and going to bed. Just as he got home, he thought about how he returned from another mission without any injuries, and thought it was a good sign, that he'd been working the outside and avoiding getting hurt in the cross hairs. NCIS had been good to him, but he felt that it was time to come home, officially.

 **A/N: Again I want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed, it means the world to me! I was trying to show in this chapter Mac opening up a bit, but not entirely, as he wasn't ready for that, and the others weren't ready to hear it just yet. I wanted a Mac and Jack reunion, but of course it doesn't go as planned, as Jack has to walk away once he's been told the information. The coming chapters will show how everyone feels, and move on from what's happened.**


	9. Chapter 9

Hetty was sad to see Mac return to his team, he'd been a great asset to her team. Callen had enjoyed having the younger man on the team because he was a mix of Deeks, Eric and Nell. Sam liked having an Army guy around, even if they were different branches, he understood the life, and the expectations that were groomed in you. Kensi was hoping that when Mac returned, he'd keep up with the physical therapy and taking it one day at a time. Deeks was sad to see Mac go, they had become really good friends despite their differences. At the end of it, they would still see each other at the shelter and hang out time to time.

Matty was glad to be getting Mac back. She regretted dropping the ball with him more than she'd like to admit. He was strong, but not as strong as she had expected him to be. His struggles were bigger than Matty accounted for. Her expectations she later realized were unrealistic. She understood his injury, but also the recovery rate, and expected that Mac, like usual would grace by and be fine, but he wasn't. Her expectations were that it would take 6 months at max for him to be back to normal. What she hadn't accounted for was his depression and the set backs. What could have taken him 6 months, took him nearly two years, and that was when she realized she failed him. Rather than give him access to the best of the best, she gave him whatever resources the VA gave him. Not only that, she took away his support system.

Jack, Riley and Bozer were sent mission to mission, not returning for close to a year. They'd gone to Mexico, and then Brazil, and then Chile, and later Egypt, and finally to Russia where they were for the longest time. They'd been hunting Murdoc for awhile, but the trail ended in Russia. Each time they were just one step behind, but they were getting closer to getting him.

The team came in for debriefing and paperwork after their flight. Mac had done all his paperwork for Hetty prior to flying home, so he was good to go. Once he got home, his emotions hit him once again. Jack walking away hurt so bad, but he knew it wasn't on purpose, it was Jack trying to deal with what he had been told.

As he lay in bed, he tried to get comfortable but couldn't. His mind was still going, and wouldn't stop. In the past, this was when he'd go for a 10 mile run, hell even 20 if it got his mind to slow down for once. But because of his physical limitations, he couldn't do that. So he was stuck in his bed, contemplating if walking around the house would be able to do it for him. He knew it wouldn't but it was worth a shot. So he got up carefully, grabbed his crutches and very slowly walked through the house several times. It wasn't helping, so he grabbed a bottle of whiskey he'd hidden away from Bozer and went back to his room. Locking his door, he mixed the whiskey with some soda and drank it slowly. When it slowly began to kick in, he downed a second glass, this time it was a double. Four shots was all it took to inebriate him, he wasn't one for hard alcohol but on occasion it did the job better than drinking a few beers out on the deck with Jack. Laying back down, his mind was finally slowing and letting him sleep. With one last glance at the clock, he fell asleep.

Bozer came home about 20 minutes after Mac fell asleep. He felt older than he was, and much more tired. In the field, he saw a lot more than he ever expected. Phoenix had changed him, and he wasn't sure if it was for the better or for the worse. While in Mexico, he saw someone shot and killed right in front of him. It was horrifying, but what he saw in South America was worse. There were abused animals, children, and overall, it wasn't what he expected. They'd gone to the slums, the places that tourists don't go to. It was a long month there, but Bozer had learned how good he had it at home, and how he could change one kids life. While trying to blend in, they did do some good while there. Egypt was better, but it was hot. Russia was cold, but it was manageable with jackets and warm clothing. It was there that they managed to disrupt some of Murdoc's web, and rip it apart. At this point, their orders were either to gain information, or take the person out if they were fired upon. Most times, the bad guy, or woman, would shoot at them, and the team would take them out. So yes, there were less assassins in the world, which did mean less murders and such, but they were still killing people, but also, not gaining information. Their big break came towards the end when they captured someone who worked with Murdoc- the 5th grade teacher from LA that wasn't a teacher at all. Jack had tortured the information out of him with the help of Cage, and that information was what led them home.

They were given five days off, which they all knew would turn out to be three, and told to go home and get some rest. So bozer came in quietly, checked on Mac, finding him asleep before going and taking a long shower. Once he was clean, he laid down in bed and tried to get some sleep. He'd gotten a few hours of sleep before being woken up by a nightmare.

He dreamt that he found Mac dead on the floor of his bedroom, and Mac had been there for quite awhile, he'd been a pile of bones with rotting flesh and flies. The nightmare alone left him spooked so much he couldn't sleep again. Getting up, he saw that it was just after six in the morning. Sighing, he went and checked on Mac, more for his assurance than Mac's and sat out on the deck watching the sunrise. For the first time, he was up before Mac. His mind was racing with all the horrors he'd seen, and hadn't dealt with. He took a page from Mac's book and went for a run. He wasn't one for working out, but he'd lost some extra weight he'd had, and was more defined with his muscles. Running wasn't his favorite, but if he wanted to out run bad guys, he needed to run faster. So Jack had given him tips and tricks to help keep him ready and active.

Putting on running shoes and workout clothes, he went for a light jog. By light, he only ran one mile, and was working on running faster short term, before going for running long distances. He'd been able to run it in close to 10 minutes, which was a huge improvement. His starting time was close to 16 minutes, and through conditioning, he'd gotten better. By the time he got home, Mac was still asleep. Taking a shower, he washed away the sweat and stink of exercise and got dressed in some comfortable clothes before going and making breakfast. It was at this time that Mac got up. He'd brushed his teeth, took a shower and got dressed before joining Bozer. He wore a T- shirt, that a few months ago fit him rather well and was form fitting, and was now big and showed how much weight he'd lost over time.

As Mac entered the living room, he rolled himself out there. His body was sore from the plane and such and he didn't want to deal with walking at a micro speed, besides his team didn't know that he could walk very short distances. Bozer offered him some breakfast, which he accepted. His hangover was doing him a number. Once Bozer had seen how skinny Mac was, his cheeks were slightly sunken in, his hair looked like it was coming back from being lifeless, and his skin was still a tinge gray, but looked better than he heard Mac had looked a few months ago. Putting a good helping of food on the plate, he set it on the table and turned back to making his waffles.

"I do want to talk about what you said on the plane, but I don't know how to talk about it, or what to say. I…I wish I was here, and not in some random South American country when you needed me the most." Bozer confessed.

"Bozer, I know you had to do what the job demanded of you, trust me. I've missed so many christmases, birthday's, family dinners, because I was called away. I wasn't there when you needed me when your grandma died. I wasn't there when you got into a car accident and totaled the honda. I understand, trust me. I do, I just….it was so lonely without the whole team. Usually it would've been Jack, and Riley, and you would have stayed, but now you work for Phoenix, and I've roped you into this."

"Mac, While the stuff with Murdoc is really a nightmare, and its bothersome, you gave me an opportunity to use my skills, and abilities for the greater good. While yeah, I'd love to direct movies, I'm helping people, I'm helping you in the field, and I wouldn't have known I was so good at some of this stuff it if wasn't for you. Also, the pay is pretty great, and I've got to travel the world. You've given me an amazing opportunity, even if it does come with some high costs." Bozer admitted. It was so much more serious and heartfelt, and composed than Mac knew how to respond to.

"I…I just want to keep you safe." Mac admitted.

"And I am, I have you, Riley, Jack, Matty, and Phoenix behind me. And I suppose Cage too, though I still don't trust her all the way. I just want you to be okay. I understand thinks might not be the same as they once were, and I'm okay with that, because I know you can adjust, and so can I. It takes time, but we will make it through this together. What ever you need, I am here. Brother's since the 6th grade."

Mac nodded. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts before saying, "Its been a long road of recovery. The swelling did go away, and I did regain some feeling in my legs, it will take time to get used to walking, and there is a chance that I might not be able to walk or run like before. It…it took a toll on me. With you guys all gone, I had no one to turn to, and it just to be too much in my head. I couldn't cope, I gave up on PT, I was giving up. There is a high chance that I will not be able to return to Phoenix in the same capacity I had been in. While I can still do some work, I can't be in the field, I'm too much of a risk."

"Whatever comes our way, we will cross this together. I promise, you have me, Jack, and Riley. We're a family, and we do this together."

"Family, we're brothers, best friends, and in it until the end." Mac said slowly.

Bozer smiled and handed him the waffle once it was done. Mac ate slowly, as Bozer finished cooking his own plate and sat down across from him.

"I missed cooking, and everything about home. The shower I took when I came in was long, and I felt like I couldn't get clean enough."

"I know the feeling. When I came home from Afghanistan, adjusting to civilian life was hard, that why when I got the offer for DXS I was interested. After the war, I…I wasn't me, and that was mostly because of what happened there. I still don't like talking about it, but its…its not as fresh as it used to be. Sam and Deeks, they both have been tortured on the job, and so the knew and understood what it was like, and it helped us bond. I liked working on their team, it was something to do while you were all gone, but its' not my home, its not where I belong."

 **A/n: So here's this one. I wanted to show some of Bozer adjusting to being an agent, or at least team member. They really haven't shown us that. There's been a few moments where we've seen him jump to the rescue, but I want him for more character depth then they're giving him. He's seen Mac grow up, and I think its time that Mac sees Bozer grow up, or at least mature and be the amazing asset to the team he can be. I also wanted to show Mac trying to open up to Bozer, but not being able to talk completely, as it is one of his oldest friends, and its hard to talk about the things he's seen, that the other man wouldn't necessarily understand like someone like Jack (someone who was in the military).**


	10. Chapter 10

When Riley got home, she took a long shower, washed away everything from the last six months, and went to bed. Of course she wanted her sleep to be long and full of oblivion, but her dreams were full of nightmares from the mission. In her dream, she watched as the child she was trying to protect died in her arms, and the teenager standing next to bozer was killed by a GSW to the head. What they had seen was brutal, and a lot more than they signed up for, but of course that's a given when Murdoc is involved. Unfortunately, everything in her fridge was spoiled, and very much so past its expiration date. Tossing everything out, she deep cleaned her apartment, until it was dust free and spotless. Ordering a pizza, she sat on her couch with her feet on the table as she started a movie.

Once her Pizza was there, she tried to get back into her movie but it was hard. Her attention was elsewhere. Giving up, she turned the movie off, and put the pizza in the fridge. Looking at the state of the fridge- it was now clean but extremely empty, she decided now was as good as any time to go grocery shopping. Grabbing her coat, and putting on some shoes, she grabbed her wallet and headed out. Her car was small, it was an older Honda civic, but she liked it. It was old enough to not be hackable, but new enough to were it was still in good condition. It was black, and blended in pretty well, which was another reason she liked it. Starting it up, she then drove to the grocery store which was a few blocks over. After parking, she got out and made her way into the store where she started with produce. Grabbing some vegetables, but not too much since she knew she'd be called in for a mission and she didn't want it to go bad, she carried on to bakery where she bought some bread and her favorite kind of cookies. She then wandered into the frozen section where she bought a lot of frozen dinners, before ending in the isle with the chips and soda.

Making sure she had coupons, that may or may have been hacked to give her a bit more of a discount, she checked out. Her total should have been close to 70$, but she got it for 48$ using coupons and reward points (that she may or may not have hacked to give her more). After all, the government paid her, but not that well. Once her trip was completed, she went home where she unloaded her groceries and tried to clear her head again. When it wasn't working. She hacked into Mac's records and looked at what his paperwork had said.

There was no evidence of the suicide attempt that he talked about, which meant it was undocumented. There was mention of the accident, and his condition, and that he had a 65% recovery rate, meaning his back would potentially heal, but he wouldn't necessarily be able to walk again. And the most troublesome thing for Riley, was that his record said he was going to be forced to retire, or change fields. It made her angry. There was a likely chance that Mac didn't know this, as he hadn't had contact with Matty for awhile, and she was starting to suspect why. She saved her findings elsewhere and then got the hell out of the network and hid the fact she was there. With the information she had, she wanted to yell, fight and scream at Matty. Mac may not be the same, but he's still Mac, and it wasn't fair. She couldn't just not tell anyone, but she didn't know who to turn to. Obviously she couldn't go to Matty without giving up her intel, but Jack was too sensitive at the moment, Bozer was an option, but too close to accidentally tell Mac, and Mac was an obvious no since it regarded him and he probably didn't even know.

Riley was stuck in between a rock and a hard place, and it was somewhere she didn't like. Pulling out her computer, she began searching everywhere she could think for something to prevent this.

The five day break lived up to actually being five days, and the team was happy. Mac came with when the reported to the war room. They were given their next case, and as unhappy as Matty was, she knew she couldn't see Mac away. So, she'd given him a rather small position in the case. Luckily this case was more geared towards gathering intel and going under cover than anything else.

The case was a ripped of 21 first jump street, or in their case 22 jump street. Mac was lucky, he managed to get selected to be a 'student' at UCLA. Bozer was set up to be a grader, and Riley worked in the admissions office, that left Jack as the janitor, which was the only option left. He definitely was not pleased, but Matty told him to shut up or get out of the war room, she was not having it today, her patience worn thin.

Unfortunately for Mac, he was not posing as a science major that focused on physics or chemistry, but rather an anthropology major. He wasn't excited for it, but he knew it was apart of the job. For the most part, he blended right in, and no one questioned it. It took about two days for them to figure out the operation that was going down, and a day to figure out how to take it down without causing a scene. Riley had hacked into cameras so that none were recording where they needed to be. Jack had cleared the area due to a 'situation of the sticky kind, and a flu bug'. Needless to say, no one wanted to catch the supposed flu bug.

Things were going smooth until they weren't. Somehow, someone knew Mac wasn't who he said he was, and things did not go according to plan. Rather, this guy picked a fight, and was trying to kick Mac's ass. Thanks to Sam and his NCIS training and connections, Mac got trained in how to fight while confined to his wheelchair. The guy he was fighting was ruthless, 180 lbs of muscle and attitude and no moral. Mac was losing the fight. Jack finally got to him, and he fought the dude, but the dude knocked Jack's gun away. Mac looked at the gun, and as much as he hated the idea, he knew he only had one choice left. So he quickly grabbed for the gun, held it, turned the safety off and waited for a clear shot.

When Jack heard the sound of then going off, he thought someone had shot Mac, or shot him but when the guy on top of him stopped fighting, and fell over, he knew neither of them had been hit. When he turned to Mac and saw him holding the gun, and how pale and shaken Mac was, he quickly went over to his partner to calm him down.

"It's alright Mac, what you did was necessary. He was not going to give up the fight any time soon, and you had to do what you had to do. He's still breathing, I'll call an ambulance, and it'll be fine." Jack tried to calm Mac down. Mac was hurting but he hid it behind his facade of calmness once he calmed down. The paramedics did a once over to his face, he had a split lip and a black eye, and his ribs were sore but he appeared fine to them. He hid the fact that his back hurt and he was having a hard time keeping the pain from the muscle spasms out of his face. Once they were allowed to go, they were suggested that they both go home and come back in the morning.

Mac went home, and retired to his bed almost instantly. He'd not fired a gun in a very long time, and he hated it. His ears were ringing, and his hands trembled slightly. How he managed to convince Jack he was okay was beyond him. Once settled in bed, he let his walls come down. The day had been stressful, and made him realize a lot of things, one being he was not fit for the field. That was the most heavy thing he was feeling at the moment.

Another muscle spasm ripped through him and he did everything he could to not cry out in pain. It felt like his insides were being ripped apart and set on fire. He waited for it to pass before reaching for the bottle of whiskey. With it in hand, he chugged it until the pain was numbed. With his body numb, he fell into a deep sleep, one without nightmares and dreams.

The next morning he woke up with a pounding headache and upset stomach. Getting up, he slowly walked to the bathroom using his cane. His legs were shaky, but he really had to pee. Once he'd taken care of the urge, he walked back to his room. Unfortunately for him, another muscle spasm mixed with the already unstable condition of his walking, he took a tumble down, and fell pretty hard. Bozer had already left for work, and he could tell because the house was quiet and when Bozer was around, there was usually a TV on or some music playing from somewhere. His final thoughts before unconsciousness took him, was that he was going to be late for work.

Mac was late for the meeting, and Jack knew it was unlike him. The longer Mac hadn't showed up, the more concerned Jack got. Finally, after two hours of Mac not showing up, Jack decided he was going to go and check on him. It reminded him too much of the day Murdoc had kidnapped him, and it was still an open sore for him. As he got in his car, he was laced with more and more worry since Mac wasn't answering his phone. Millions of thoughts ran through his head, he drove on autopilot, knowing the way there like the back of his hand while asleep. Getting there, he saw Mac's car still there, but that didn't mean much since Mac didn't drive much.

As he walked up, his anxiety grew more and more. Knocking on the door he got no response. Going in with the key he had, he called out to Mac but got no response. As he cleared the living room, kitchen and Deck, he headed for the back of the house. Just as he'd gone down the hall, he'd found Mac passed out on the floor, laying on his stomach, cane underneath him and his limbs flailed out. He was more than grateful that his partner had a pulse, even if it was fast and thready. Pulling out his phone, he called Matty and told her that he found Mac passed out and was going to call for medical help. She insisted on using Phoenix resources, and sent a medical team to go retrieve him. Thanks to the bad guys always shooting at them, Matty had allocated resources so that they had their own private ambulance and paramedics team.

Within a few minutes they were there and loading Mac onto a backboard and into their ambulance. They started an IV and checked his vitals. Everything came back within normal range. Once back at Phoenix, the medical team ran intensive tests to find out what happened. Within two hours, they saw that he had a concussion from the apparent fall, and his spinal cord was once again bruised. The damage was done, and now it was only a matter of time to see how it healed once again, but also how Mac would take the news.


	11. Chapter 11

Jack had disregarded the case after finding Mac passed out. Matty decided that they had gathered enough intel to pass it along for someone else to work the case. It was clear that her team cared more about their youngest member than anything else. Matty had seen the test results before anyone else, and knew that it was bad. She removed Mac from all work, even desk duty, and sealed his file so that no one could retrieve, not even Riley. She knew that Riley had accessed it, there was a trap set in it, one that she wouldn't have known to think of or look for. Matty also wasn't surprised. She knew that Riley or Jack would go stick their noses in files to find out about their friend, it just happened a lot later than she expected.

Mac woke up in the medical bay confused to how he got there. Once it was explained that Jack found him, he knew things were going to be bad. The look on the doctor's face said it all. Apparently between the fight yesterday and his fall this morning, his spinal cord had bruised and swelled, causing some nerve endings to misfire, but also cause weakness. The reason he fell was because his legs were too shaky and weak to support himself, and that's why he fell and hit his head on the wood floor.

The doctor told him that it was a step backwards in his recovery, but he could move past it. Mac was frustrated beyond belief, he'd just gotten to walking, and he was back where he started all those months ago. Matty made it clear that he was going to attend a facility that was excellent at physical therapy and helping those who were former military and government. So by afternoon, he had a bag packed and a plane ticket to Texas for PT, without a say in it. Jack of course made it clear he was going with- Mac was not going anywhere alone without him, especially not to Texas.

By the next morning, Mac was in Texas and starting PT. They worked with him just moving his toes and feet, which was frustrating because Mac wanted to walk, and run. It took them a week or so before they let him stand with support. As time went on, Mac was getting more frustrated. He wasn't helpless. Jack had been good, he'd been there to encourage Mac, but soon he was babying Mac, and trying to 'make things easier', which just frustrated Mac because he wanted to do things on his own and prove him self. By the end of the first month, Mac was frustrated, snappy and quite moody. The facility ended up making him see a professional to talk about what he had been through.

Once again, Mac was forced to dig up old events to, 'move on'. The most painful memories were of Nicki's 'death' and her betrayal, being kidnapped by Murdoc, Afghanistan, and the transport being blown up. The PTSD he was experiencing was making everything a lot worse. Jack witnessed Mac falling apart, and tried to be there for him. Of course In Jack Dalton's being there for someone came across as overbearing and intense. Jack had really over done it with Mac. He was so worried about his friend, that he didn't realize that he was taking helicopter parent to a whole new level, and Mac was beyond frustrated. Mac had tried to be patient, and understanding with Jack, but after nearly a month and a half, Mac's frustrations began to show. He was shorter with Jack, much more snappy, and even more determined to show that he could do whatever he wanted without help.

Therapy was wearing him down, and as much as it was helping, it was hurting him. He had nightmares every night and stopped sleeping. It only took a week of Mac not sleeping, Jack being overbearing, and having to take it slow in PT to drive Mac over the edge. It began as something small, but soon it blew up and out of proportions between the two men. Mac had exploded at Jack and had told him, "I don't need you here. I did it once alone, I can do it again. You weren't there and I did just fine, so just fuck off. I'm sick and tired of you trying to act like my dad. You're not my dad." What he had said had hurt Jack. It had reminded him a lot of a young Riley. Jack ended up taking a few days away from Mac, and went to visit his family, and talked to his mom. He couldn't tell her much, but that a close friend was hurt bad and things had gone from ok to bad to worse. It took some fishing trips, a few cold beers and a horse back ride for Jack to clear his head and relook at what had happened.

Meanwhile, Mac was feeling more and more guilty the longer Jack stayed away. His progressed slowed all over. In PT, he had less drive to prove himself, and was quieter, no longer interested in science, or sharing cool facts or history lessons. He turned into his big head, and remembered all the cases they'd gone on. From the Casino, to saving a Marine, to stopping several terrorist attacks, they'd saved a lot of people. He'd saved thousands with just scrap items and his knowledge of physics and Chemistry. But no matter what he did, or where he looked, he couldn't find his father. And to top it off, he was sent away from the only people close enough to resemble a family, and pushed away one of the people who had always had his back, and a cold beer, and a reference to something only he knew and understood.

Jack in reality had only been gone a week and a half, but to Mac it felt like months. At this point in his therapy, all he could do was stand up and use the bars to support his weight, the chance of him ever walking again was slim to none, and the worse side of it was that he no longer could feel all of his legs. He was aware they were there, but the feeling came and went, and mostly went. His PT trainer had introduced him to the pool, where they tried to see if it helped. It was working better than the other measures they had done, but Mac was on the verge of giving up, there was no chance he'd ever be allowed in the field again, and an even smaller chance of him maintaining his job. He knew he was going to be given a forced retirement, it sucked because he was only 25, and had a whole future in front of him, but Murdoc took that away (and so did Thornton because she had hired him).

You could tell Mac wasn't the same person as he was before because for one, his hair was a lot longer than it had ever been, it was close to his shoulders now, and he had facial hair growing. He looked younger than he was, and everything was taking a toll on him. All he wanted was his old life back, and Murdoc in the ground. But sometimes, you don't get what you want.

 **A/n: thank you for all the reads! Don't forget review! I love hearing what you have to say!**


	12. Chapter 12

Jack returned from his week and a half long trip with a much clearer head, and was ready to sit with Mac and talk things out, no matter how long it took them. When Jack took a good look at him, Mac wore a resemblance to what he looked like when Jack found him in that cave in Afghanistan. His hair was long, he was skinny, and he had a look in his eye that looked like a man that was on the verge of giving up.

The PT trainer took Jack aside to talk to him and see if they could better understand Mac. Jack explained that the kid was young, always finding a way to improvise and get himself out of a situation, and save the day, but for this, he couldn't do that, and that must be wearing him down. Then Jack had heard whispers that Mac might be forced to retire and forced to adjust to civilian life completely, and he knew his friend would never be able to make that adjustment. Mac's chances of ever walking were getting slimmer, but Jack had faith in him. If anyone could come back from something like this, it would be Mac.

With the suggestion the PT trainer had, Jack took Mac out and got him a haircut and a good shave. The kid looked more like himself, but still not quite there. Jack did the one thing he knew how to do, and that was find a good view and a cold beer. He took Mac out to a lake, and confessed to the kid what he'd been thinking.

"When the transport flipped, and I saw you out cold, my first reaction was that you were dead, and it scared me to death. When they pulled you from the wreckage, and you were alive, I was beyond grateful, but as time went on, I realized you weren't going to be able to walk away from it like we all did. I felt guilty, because I should have seen Murdoc standing in the road sooner, I should have reacted faster, and I should have killed him when I had the chance. They said with PT you might walk again, and I wanted more than anything to be there and be by your side, but we got shipped out. It seemed like mission after mission, we wouldn't come home. They got harder, longer, and you weren't there beside us. We voiced our concerns to Matty, that we needed a break, but she wouldn't give us one, the world needed saving.

When you said you had tried to….tried to…. take your life, it knocked the air out of my lungs, and it felt like that plane was crashing. Not once had I ever thought you could do something like that, and I would lose you forever. It scared me, and it shook my world. I didn't want us to go undercover but Matty said we had to. I'd heard good things from Sam Hanna, and I thought you were ready, you could take it easy and it'd all be okay. But that guy, he went for you extra hard, and its landed you here. And I can't help but feel responsible. I should've protected you more.

And I know I've been unbearable, but that's just my concern, and trying to show you that I am here for you. But I know I went too far, and we needed to take a moment and get both of our heads on.

That week and a half I was gone, my momma talked some sense into me. She made me realize that I do try and be your dad at times, and I try to be that brother influence, and have your back, but sometimes you need space, and you need to figure yourself out, without me breathing down your neck.

I know its hard, and you've got a long road ahead of you, but you've got me, Riley, Bozer, Cage, Kensi, and the NCIS team behind you. We all want you to recover, but more importantly, we want you to be happy and safe. I know you're worried about your career, but I've already laid out my terms to Matty. I had my ear to the door, and I know what's coming. I laid out my bargain and if you go, I go. We took the job together, and if you leave, I leave. Bozer has gotten offers to go places and he's denied them. He's waiting for you to come home. Riley's had to be borrowed by other teams, after all she is the best hacker on our side of the legal system, but she comes home quick because she wants to be there when you come home. You're off the mission roster, I'm off it, Because I worked without you, and I can tell you, I hated every moment of it. I hated how I knew you would be sharing some random history fact or science fact at any given moment for anything we were about to do, and how you weren't in the field with me, you didn't have my back out there, and I only want you to have it."

Jack had tried to share what he was feeling, and thinking, in a calm matter, but by the end of it, he was emotional and trying not to cry.

Mac had listened to Jack talk, and he understood his partner more in that moment.

"I don't want you to give up your career Jack, its your life, its what you do. Your Jack Dalton, former Delta Force, and agent for the Phoenix foundation."

"Mac, there would be no Phoenix foundation if it weren't for you. The number of times you have saved my life, is so many, and I wouldn't be here without you. We're brothers, and we don't leave a man behind. Two out, two in."

"Its been hard…I know I'm about to be forced into an early retirement. And now I have to think about what I want to do with my life. I always had the military, and the risk, and the adrenaline. I can't live like a civilian, its not who I am. I jut want to walk again, run, be me, be in the field, but I most likely will never do any of that."

"I know you have thought about the odds and numbers and the science in it, but Mac, you need to get out of your big head, and just see where this goes. Ignore the math and science and logic, you have beat the odds before, you can do it again." Jack told him.

By the time they returned to the facility, Mac was feeling a bit better, and Jack was glad that he and Mac had a heart to heart, and were more on the same page now.

In the coming days, Mac had more drive, and more determination than he had in a while, and again he was making progress.

Matty wanted Jack to return, he'd been in Texas for three months almost four, and his vacation time was almost up (he'd racked it up over the years). Jack refused, and said, he wasn't leaving until Mac was. It frustrated her, but if she knew Jack Dalton as well as she did, she'd know he was not budging anytime soon. She took him off the mission roster, and left him as an emergency contact, that if things got that dangerous and no other team could get it done, they'd call him.

Mac had made a lot more progress. He was now able to stand up and take a few steps using the bars, but also crutches and a cane. It was a big improvement from where he had started over. Things were hard because he would lose feeling in his legs after awhile, but he was making progress forward.

Riley had searched the internet for anything that could help Mac. She'd found research on an experimental surgery that could fix what was wrong with his spinal cord, and he'd be able to walk again. On her own, she'd contacted the doctors and scientists and looked into it. From what she had gathered, it was successful. So she took it to Jack, and shared what she'd found, before they shared it with the PT trainer. Once they had him on board with the idea, they took it to Mac. Mac looked at the science and the math, and decided it was a risk worth taking. Because even if it didn't work, it wouldn't make things any worse than they are now.

So Riley set up a consult and took care of everything. Mac had good insurance (after all he did nearly get blown up on a monthly basis due to the job). It would cover almost all of it, and what didn't cover it, Jack, Riley and Bozer gathered. They did bake sales, garage sales, a go fund me, and spread it around the community (of the shelter and local LA), and said how the man who had given a lot to the community was in need of surgery and they were short about 8 thousand. Hetty had heard, as did her team, and they all donated what they could. Somehow they managed to cover it all, and Mac was now preceding on with the procedure.

Everyone gathered outside Mac's hospital room in Arizona, waiting for news on how the surgery went. It took close to 16 hours, and they wouldn't know the results until three almost four weeks later. When the doctor finally came out, they said Mac had done well, the surgery went good, and he was moved to recovery.

The surgery its self was getting the spinal cored to regenerate lost and dead nerves so that they fired properly. It was a lot more science than most of them understood, but they knew that this would potentially help Mac walk again, and perhaps come back to the foundation. When they all walked into his room, they looked down at him sleeping, and saw how the last two years had aged him a lot. Jack sat down and held his hand, not once budging until the younger man woke up.

 **A/N: I cant believe it, we are almost to the end, there is one more chapter, and then the bonus one, and possibly a bonus second one that will be set a fair amount into the future. I'm so excited for it, just because I can't wait to bring more stories to live and share with you call.**


	13. Chapter 13

The three weeks went slow, and the PT trainer came to his room daily to check on him and have him wiggle his toes and move his feet and such, and once the three weeks was over, and the incision was healed, Mac was allowed to go back to PT. Again he had to take things slow, but he was doing better this time around.

While he was still moving slow, he was able to take more steps at a time before getting tired, and he was a bit steadier on his feet. The pool had helped him a lot, and by the end of his PT which was nearly a year and a half long now, he was allowed to go home. After the surgery in Arizona, he'd gone back to Texas, and now he was on his way to LA.

He still had some difficulties, but at the moment, he was able to walk with a cane for a moderate amount of time and distance. He'd never be able to run 10 miles straight, but in time he would be able to run, and be of use in the field. He would get to return to work, and just take it as easy as they could for someone in their field.

Matty had made all the discharge papers disappear, and she managed to keep Mac on. It would still be a length of time before he would be in the field, but he would return.

Meanwhile, Matty had been running the hunt for Murdoc ever since. Finally, after two, almost three years, they had a lead and she had given orders to kill on sight. Mac's team was told until after he was dead and it had been confirmed, an autopsy preformed to make sure it was him, and his web had been dismantled.

Matty had borrowed G Callen, Steve Mcgarett, Sam Hanna, Gibbs, and several other military men and former members of the agency. All of them had expertise in investigating, as well as military backgrounds. Together, the team found Murdoc, and got him before he ever saw it coming. Mcgarett was the man to pull the trigger and place a bullet between the psychopath's eyes.

Once confirmed and official, Matty told the team that they had finally got Murdoc once and for all, and he was no longer a threat to them.

Mac realized that it was all over, he may not be the same man before this entire incident, but he had grown for the better. He had received a letter from one of the kids he had helped in the shelter, inviting him to their college graduation. With a smile, he said he'd go, and congratulated the kid. He had changed one life, and given this kid a future, when he himself was in a bad place, and was hopeless.

To see what this student had accomplished was incredible. They were top of their class, with a 4.0 GPA, on Dean's list and graduated in three years. The student was incredibly bright, and offered a job with the government. It made Mac proud, and made him realize that he could help anyone, anywhere he was, he didn't have to be an agent of the government to save someone, and give them a future.

He and Jack ended up spending weekends and evenings with the kids, helping out and helping more kids be inspired to go to school. At the end of the day, it brought them a sense of happiness to see these kids have a shot at life, and give them a drive to succeed that they had been lacking.

Overall, a lot of kids benefitted, and while it took a lot longer, the crime rate had gone down a significant amount, as did poverty. It was proof that higher education and access to resources allowed people to survive and not commit crimes.

A few of the kids would later go on to work for the government and it would be years later that they would stumble in into the Phoenix foundation and see Mac there. For some of them, it was a very tripped out moment, and when they got to know his true back story, they understood why and who he was.

Mac returned to the field, and while he wasn't always feeling 100%, and sometimes he was sore and had a lot of back pain, he was always doing the task at hand and pulling off everything that he needed to. Jack stood by him, knowing that the kid could do whatever he put his mind to, and had his back day in and day out, never once doubting his abilities and smarts.

Murdoc may have changed his life, and made it take a route he could have never predicted, but he righted the wrong done to him, and became a better person, and helped even more people. At the end of the day, the good guys won, even if the war was years long, and many other battles had been fought, and innocent blood spilled. War was not without consequence, and Mac was a show for this. He was lucky, his battle with Murdoc, while physical, was more psychological, due to the sociopath's tactics, and despite him being dead, he'd remain a thought in the back of Mac's mind, reminding him daily of the trials and errors he went through to be able to over come what had happened.

 **A/N: This is where I say thank you so so much! I am contemplating one final chapter, one on how the team of super soldiers found Murdoc, but I am unsure if I will go through with it. Let me know if you want that, otherwise this will be the final chapter of our story.**

 **Writing this has been an absolute blast, and I think it should end on a high note, but also one with hope for a better future, and showing progress.**


	14. Chapter 14

Matty's Hunt for Murdoc- Final Chapter-

Matty had been running the hunt for Murdoc ever since the bombing. Finally, after two and a half, almost three years, they had a lead and she had given orders to kill on sight. Mac's team was told until after he was dead and it had been confirmed, an autopsy preformed to make sure it was him, and his web had been dismantled. Matty wanted to be absolutely and positively sure that it was done and properly taken care of, mostly because she didn't ever want to have to say, "Murdoc is alive." and see the pain it would bring her team.

Matty had borrowed G Callen, Steve Mcgarett, Sam Hanna, Gibbs, and several other military men and former members of the agency. All of them had expertise in investigating, undercover work, as well as military backgrounds. Together, the team found Murdoc, and got him before he ever saw it coming. It was a long time coming though. Mcgarett was the man to pull the trigger and place a bullet between the psychopath's eyes. The gun was a semi- automatic assault rifle with a suppressor, making sure it made no noise. It was similar to the one that the military used, only difference was that it was easier to take apart and throw into a bag than a standard one. Once it was fired, he was taking it apart- using gloved to dismantle it because it was still very hot from being fired. It was in a bag and packed away discreetly, no one would be able to tell that the weapon was there. Mcgarett went as far as picking up his shell casings and fixing the spot where he'd been laying down to make it look like it hadn't been disturbed.

The team, composed of seven Military background men, who worked for the government currently were recruited. With lots of hunting and flushing out, they managed to locate Murdoc in Yemen. It was a difficult mission, only 5 of the Seven went to the country, and only three preformed the hit. The man to pull the trigger was Mcgarett. Sam and G drew Murdoc out and got him in the cross hairs. Both men understood how dangerous and crazy he was, and they proceeded with caution.

Once the trigger had been pulled, Sam and G were moving the body into a bag, not caring that there was a chance that Murdoc wasn't completely dead yet. Once he was in a bag, shoved in a crate, he was loaded on the back of a truck and they all proceeded as if they were apart of some truck company traveling with cargo. Once out of the country, they went to a US military base, where the autopsy was preformed, the bullet extracted, and Murdoc's organs removed. Once it was confirmed to be Murdoc, the military threw his body into a furnace and burned him. With nothing left, he was thrown out in the trash, like the piece of garbage and scum of the Earth he was.

The three men then boarded a plane to the states and went to their respective places, G and Sam headed to LA and Steve headed for Hawaii. Matty was glad that her hunting trip had ended, it was costly, and highly top secret. The team she had assembled were temporarily cut from their organizations- on "vacation time", and operated under orders from Phoenix. It was a bunch of top secret, Need -to -Know files, that once taken care of, were destroyed. No one would ever know who fulfilled the hit. Every operative in the mission had code names, never once referenced to their real name. For example, Gibbs was known as the coffee man, Sam was referred to as the gym instructor, Mcgarett was known as the chef, and Callen was the movie actor. It was to protect all of their identities.

The file with the report, all it said was, "The chef fulfilled the order for the actor, gym instructor, coffee man and movie actor. The meal was served on 11/15, 3:54 local time." It was very vague and read weirdly, but anyone who went digging would be more confused than anything else. There was no records of anything, all the cover IDs had been burned and destroyed, never to be traced back to Phoenix or the hit squad.

Matty then made sure to dismantle the web Murdoc had spun, and made sure nothing would ever come from it again. It was over and done with. She made sure to wait, so that nothing would pop up, but after a few months, nothing came up, and the people she had set aside to watch were all killed in traffic accidents and hits from rivals, she had won. She kept an eye on those regions and people for years to come. If something looked off, or not of normal nature, she had boots on the ground investigating it within 24 hours, and would have it taken care of within 72 hours. Murdoc's web was destroyed, and any and every chance it tried to come back and regrow, it was destroyed.

The news of Murdoc's assassination eventually came to Mac and his team, and they were thankful that it was over. Mac still had nightmares, but knowing Murdoc was dead, and couldn't get to him eased his worries. Over time, the nightmares faded through therapy and dealing with the PTSD. There were days where being in the sewer (never knew what you'd have to do for a case), would bring him anxiety. But Jack was there every step of the way, helping Mac stay sane and balanced. Then there were days where he needed medical support, whether he wanted it or not, every injury had to be assessed and treated, and one thing that forever had him squeamish was an IV. He eventually refused all painkillers that were stronger than Ibuprofen, morphine did a number on him and he couldn't handle the similarity of the lack of control, and spaced out feeling.

A/n: This is the very end. I wanted to wrap it up nicely in the previous chapter, but show how Murdoc was gotten, so that everything was wrapped up, no mystery to how it happened. It took me awhile to finish this I'll admit. I couldn't find the words to put the feelings on the document. Hope you like it, and thank you all for following the story and favoriting. Much Love! Happy Holidays!


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